Hubby and I went on a road show of some sort when I went back for a short while late last year, trying to convince everybody that it would be better for us to be together in Japan while I’m studying here.
Coming from a large family (his late grandfather was married to 4 women when he passed away, and 2 more before that, one passed away before he did and the other was divorced), when he announced that he would take the baby and join me in Japan after he finished his KPLI course last year, he was subject to lots of scrutiny. Suddenly he found himself getting a lot of unheeded advice and opinions – mostly discouraging him from making such a move.
People questioned about:
"Nanti hilang seniority. Habis belajar terus amik cuti pulakOrang lain dah naik pangkat, dia tak naik lagi"
"Nanti balik Malaysia ni nanti, ada ke kerja? Konfem ke ada kerja?Tak nanti dok rumah tak kena panggil posting pulak kang"
"Boleh ke tu nanti nak hidup ramai-ramai tu tak dapat elaun famili?"
"Nanti dia pergi sana, sapa nak jaga kelas agama kat Masjid Rasah? Kat Surau Labu?"
"Reti ke dia nak jaga baby tu? Pandai ke?"
"Nanti esok-esok bini tak ungkit ke laki takdak duit sendiri, dok makan duit bini je?"
"Tu takdak gaji nanti, nak ke dia bagi kat Mak dia macam dia dok bagi bulan-bulan sekarang ni?"
Etc, etc, etc
Oh yes, it was hurtful. And it wasn’t easy to convince everybody, but hubby and I approached the most influential figures among the clan to explain our situation and to get their blessings. My parents-in- law were in fact, the biggest hurdle to overcome, because they were adamant in not allowing their son to take unpaid leave so soon after he had just finished his KPLI.
One day before I returned to Japan, I pleaded to my mother in law, asking her to understand how difficult it was for me being so far away from my son for so long so soon after giving birth to him. And whatever concern she voiced out, I countered them persuasively. No, I would never look down at my hubby for not earning anything because for me his willingness to support me by being a stay-at-home parent to look after Huzaifah while I study means a lot more. We will make do with what little that I got because the main thing is for a family to stay together through thick and thin. While he may be losing his adult students in Seremban area, there are a lot more Ustazs available to act as his substitute while he is away. On the other hand, there is rarely any Ustazs found in Japan, and thus he might be needed more in Japan. I promised her that we will continue our monthly contribution to her even while hubby is in Japan, deducting it from my monthly salary in Malaysia. I convinced her that I am aware that hubby's first priority would always be as her son and then as my husband and my son's father, thus I plead for her blessings because I do not want my hubby to do anything against her wishes and blessings. We promised that hubby will try to benefit the Muslims in Japan with what little knowledge he has, that besides undertaking his responsibility to take care of his nucleus family, he is also going to Japan for dakwah purpose. I pleaded with her, trying my best not to shed any tears, but did so in the process unintentionally.
Gradually, my mother-in-law's stand shifted. Gradually, people stop making noises and we finally got his parents blessings for hubby to bring along Huzaifah and joined me in Japan.
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After some time adjusting to life in Japan, hubby began setting up classes – both for Malaysian children and adult. He also began to make friends with other Muslims attending Hira’ Mosque, not far from our home. He also began joining weekly gathering at the Mosque organized by Islamic Circle of Japan, the organization responsible for the existence and maintenance of four mosques and two musollas in Japan.
It was during these gatherings when he was asked by the former president of ICOJ, Brother Jamil Ahmad on whether or not he would be interested to take up the position to be an instructor at an Islamic school soon to be created. He said that let him consult me first because he has to take care of the baby whenever I am away and I have classes 4 days in a week.
Not long after that, the same person approached him again, asking whether or not he would be interested to be an Imam in a mosque in the Tokyo area. If he agreed, he might have to move to Tokyo, which Brother Jamil said would be to my benefit too since I;m studying in Tokyo. Once again, hubby stressed that he has a baby to take care of and he needed to consult me before he could agree to anything.
And so last week, he took me to the mosque, and we had a small discussion with Brother Abdul Salam, the Sec-Gen of ICOJ and two other prominent members of ICOJ. Brother Abdul Salam showed us a picture of the Daar Al Arqam mosque and explained to us the duties of an Imam in that mosque, which is also the headquarter of ICOJ. Basically, if he agrees, hubby is to lead the prayers there, most crucially for Jumu’ah prayer, to act as caretaker of the mosque (Tok siak of some sort) as well as taking care of some administrative tasks for ICOJ like forwarding queries, calls and faxes to the President and Sec-Gen.
They believe that it won’t be problem for us because the Imam could live there – the residence is on the top floor of the 5-storey mosque building, and that even if I need to attend any class on Friday when hubby has to perform his major task of leading the Jumu’ah prayer, they could assist in arranging for some babysitter. In exchange of being the Imam there, ICOJ would provide free residence inclusive of utilities. That means no monthly rent and no monthly water, electricity and gas bills to take care of.
I asked hubby to perform solat istikharah. He consulted both sets of parents – in Seremban and in PJ. All of them gave their blessings. Ayah in particular was so stunned of this news that he felt down (alhamdulillah he landed safely on the bed) and started crying upon being told by Mak. I later teased Ayah about it, to which he replied solemnly, “Ayah terharu doa Ayah dimakbulkan Allah sebelum Ayah pejam mata. Inilah yang Ayah dok doa selalu – minta anak cucu Ayah dapat jalankan kerja dakwah, dapat sumbangkan untuk Islam. Mana kita nak sangka Allah nak bagi rezeki macam ni?”
True, neither hubby nor I expected this kind of offer. In fact, we were ready to stay in Gyotoku and try to contribute what little we could for Islam among the local Muslim community. Being given a chance to be an Imam in mosque located in Tokyo means insya Allah hubby will get to know a larger audience with various background, exposing him to an international Muslim community in Japan, opening up windows of opportunities for him and I to share what little we know and learn more from others. Chances are we could also initiate the involvement of more Malaysians in ICOJ related activities. Like somebody was saying the other day – “Bukan selalu nak jumpa Pak Imam Melayu kat Masjid di Jepun nih…” By the way, hubby definitely has found a motivation for him to study Nihongo now. Otherwise he would probably be the only Imam in a Japanese mosque who could not speak Japanese at all.
Now insya Allah we could alleviate his family fear about him not earning any income while he is accompanying me in Japan. In fact, the small sum ICOJ promised as monthly allowance for hubby is considerably more (in Ringgit Malaysia) than what he used to earn as a high school teacher before he came to Japan. We are thinking of sponsoring his parents to come and visit us here in Japan and let them see for themselves how we are faring here. We were prepared to make do with my monthly stipend alone, and then alhamdulillah, this offer came as rezeki from Allah.
So, tomorrow insya Allah we will move to Asakusa, and I will become the Pak Imam’s wife (but please, please, please don't call me Mak Aji, okay?)
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